How To Break Up With Your Long Term Boyfriend

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Catastrophe any relationship is hard, but catastrophe a long term relationship is even harder. Since y'all accept been in a relationship for and then long, your lives are more than intertwined and your feelings volition probable be deeper. However, there are ways your can handle the situation if you are fix to cease your long term human relationship.

one
Tell your partner as shortly as possible. You lot may desire to delay the breakup because of how difficult you know it will be, merely this is not going to help the situation. Staying with your partner after you know you want to leave them is non helpful to you or your partner or considerate of either of your feelings. Just drum upwardly enough courage to end your relationship. Information technology will exist better for everyone.^[one]
- This doesn't hateful that y'all should not take your time in thinking nigh your decision. You cannot undo a breakdown hands once it is gone.
Expert TIP

Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over x years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Plant of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Larn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals better and modify their patterns in love and relationships.

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist

Be honest with yourself when it's time to walk away. Honey and relationship psychologist Dr. Sarah Schewitz says: "When you're trying to make up one's mind whether to stop a relationship, inquire yourself what your true feelings are for this person and how those feelings accept inverse over time. Was there ever a strong connectedness, or did you rationalize yourself into the human relationship because they had qualities yous were looking for? If at that place wasn't anything that potent to hold onto in the offset, information technology might be in your best interest to let it go."
2
Do it face to face. Although information technology may seem appealing to end your relationship where y'all don't have to see your partner's confront, this is a kittenish and harmful fashion to end a relationship, especially a long term one. It will exist hard to tell your partner in person, but given how long the two of y'all have been together, your relationship deserves more than respect than that.
- Don't go out a voicemail, write them a letter, tell them over the phone, or tell them through e-mail or social media. These are cowardly and hurtful.
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three
Pick the right fourth dimension. There is never a good time to end a human relationship, merely there are better times than others to break the news. Avoid telling your partner right before leaving the house, before you or your partner has to become to work, or at other busy times.
- This will not requite you and your partner adequate time to deal with the situation and give the breakdown the attending it deserves.
- Yous should also avoid telling them in public.
4
Exist firm in your decision. Yous made the decision to end your long term relationship for a reason. When you tell your partner, you need to stand firm in your determination to cease information technology. Permit them know that you are unhappy and that you lot are not interested in trying to make information technology work.
- If you know that your relationship volition non terminal, make sure you don't give in to any pleas fabricated by your partner. Yous are just delaying the inevitable ending to your relationship.^[2]
five
Practice your delivery beforehand. You are going to be emotional in the moment when you break up with your partner. Practicing what you are going to say before yous talk to your partner will help you feel more prepared. Yous will be able to think through everything you want to say so it volition come out right.^[three]
- Y'all can even write information technology down or type information technology out offset then you can become your thoughts in lodge.

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1
Be honest. When you end your relationship with your partner, brand certain you are honest. Don't avert telling your partner exactly why you feel you demand to move on and end the relationship. This will merely crusade issues for you and your partner in the long run.
- This doesn't hateful yous accept to be harsh. Honesty does not have to be dissentious to your partner's feelings.^[4]
2
Stay at-home. One of the worse things you lot tin can practice is get riled upward and tense when you are getting gear up to breakup with your long term partner. This volition brand the situations even more than stressful for you lot. The process is non going to exist easy, but stressing about it is not going to change it.
- Take time to relax equally you decide the best way to tell your partner. You want to explain your reasons for breaking upward with a clear caput and calm demeanor. This may be hard, merely it is possible.
- If you are extremely stressed, exercise something that relaxes you, such as reading or listening to music.
3
Focus on the present. At that place is no reason to bring upward the by when you are breaking up with your long term partner. The reasons that you want to interruption it off are electric current and about how your relationship is now. Don't bring upwardly how your relationship used to be or any sometime fights while telling your partner it's over.
- This will but add salt to wounds and make the breakup that much harder.^[5]
4
Don't exist passive aggressive. Avert irresolute your behavior in gild to go your partner to stop the relationship first. This will end upwardly making the breakup nastier than it needs to exist. Approach the situation like an developed and be honest with your partner instead of trying to make them break up with you.
- Avoid being overly aggressive or picayune towards your partner and don't brand life miserable for both of you. This will aid no ane in the long run.
five
Avoid blaming your partner. Y'all don't want your breakup to plow ugly, then avoid placing blame on anyone in the human relationship for its failure. Relationships are complicated and never blackness and white, and then try to focus on breaking upward with them in a way that does non place blame or sound accusatory.
- If there is a reason for you breaking upwardly with your partner that is not your fault, such as your partner cheating on you, all the same try to take the high road. Blame and bitterness volition only make the breakdown harder.^[6]
6
Keep your private affairs to yourself. In the modern engineering age, people have a tendency to overshare. When yous are going through your breakup, avoid slamming your partner on any social media platform. This volition but brand the breakdown get ugly. You desire to give your partner and your relationship its due respect.
- You can talk to your friends about your breakup, only do and so on the phone or text message instead of public social media accounts.^[7]

1
Know it volition have time. A breakup, especially of a long term human relationship, volition not happen over night. Considering that your lives have been intertwined for then long, in that location is no piece of cake pause from them. Y'all and your partner volition probably have mutual friends, possessions, and routines that will make it tense and awkward for awhile.
- Your routines and life will change when your relationship is no longer a gene. This volition take fourth dimension to arrange to.
- Y'all will besides take lingering feelings, even if you are no longer in dear with your partner. You may be emotional for awhile after the breakup as y'all cope with these lingering feelings.
two
Focus on other things. One of the best ways to move on is by focusing your attention on new things. This fashion, you are doing things that tin can't remind you of your partner or your breakdown. This volition assist you heal, with the added bonus of enriching your life.
- Trying new things will help you to heal. Start a new project, join a yoga form, or have an art grade. But find something y'all savour that you tin can focus on.^[eight]
3
Rely on your family and friends. Subsequently a breakup, you will demand to lean on those effectually you. Even when you are the one who bankrupt off the relationship, it will exist emotional. Lean on your family and friends when you lot're feeling down or upset about your breakup. This will give you the support organization you need to heal.
- Spend more time with your friends and family, go out more, or talk to them on the phone. This volition help you experience connected and loved when you're feeling down.^[9]
four
Go easy on yourself. You will likely not become back to being 100% happy and healthy right after a breakup, specially a long term ane. When y'all're feeling down or stressed because of the breakup, don't beat yourself up or try to snap out of it right away. It will take time to heal.
- You demand to give yourself time to grieve your relationship in good for you means and then yous can move on. If you button down your feelings, you may take some bug later on.
- Your friends and family will understand that yous need fourth dimension to regroup and heal.^[ten]
v
Take care of yourself. As yous cope with your breakup, yous need to take care of yourself. Take time to cope and process your life without your partner. Your feelings will probable be complicated and intense, even if you are the i who ended things. Brand sure you pay attention to your ain mental and physical health while you lot heal.
- Don't let become of your salubrious lifestyle just because y'all had a breakup. Proceed eating healthy and exercising similar your normally would.
- If you didn't exercise or eat right before, consider changing your routine to include healthier habits so you tin can be healthier after your breakup.^[eleven]

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Article Summary X

If you've decided to terminate your long-term relationship, yous should tell your partner face to confront as presently as you lot feel certain about your decision, since delaying the breakup won't be expert for anyone. When you take an opportunity to talk to your partner in private, express your feelings to them honesty. While you should be firm in your decision, you lot shouldn't be harsh or bring up things from the by, since that will but add salt to the wounds and make the breakup harder. Furthermore, evidence consideration for your partner'due south feelings and keep your affairs individual by not talking about them publicly or posting about them on social media. For more tips from our co-author, including how to deal with life after catastrophe a long-term relationship, read on!

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